My husband and I were sitting in bed at the end of the day a few months ago when my teenage son walked in and asked out of nowhere, “Mom, I have a question. What weapons do you have that you think you use against dad?” My clarifying, “You mean besides my mouth?” was overshadowed […]Read More Them’s Fighting Words: Marital Disarmament as a Noble New Year’s Resolution
Several years ago, I was late for a conference forty miles away in the next county north, and amped up my aggressive driving skills to attempt to arrive faster (admittedly a bad idea—do NOT do this at home). As I was approaching the boundary to the next county, weaving in and out of traffic, my […]Read More A Typical Marriage Fail Moment and How I Fixed it
I was walking through a store the other day when a simple painted sign stopped me in my tracks. It read, “Change is good….you go first.” I immediately picked it up to check the price, thinking, “I absolutely have to get this for my office.” It succinctly describes one of the biggest ongoing dilemmas I […]Read More The One Thing That Prevents Couples From Changing and the Question That Can Fix It
How happy you are in your marriage is bound to affect you for better or worse. Marital quality is highly correlated with various facets of mental and physical health. High marital quality can benefit individual health while conversely, poor marital quality can actually generate health risk. Keeping this in mind, knowing how to preserve and […]Read More Can This 7 minute Intervention Really Save your Marriage?
One day, pregnant with my second child, I went shopping for maternity clothes. I was feeling nauseous and suddenly experienced the familiar lightheaded dizzy feeling which accompanied all my pregnancies. Afraid that I would pass out, I dropped down on the floor in the aisle of clothes, obscured from view. A married couple walked up […]Read More When Jack Sprat and His Wife Go to Couples Therapy: Body Weight as a Problem in Marriage
Doug and Janice* were in an argument about the laundry. Doug was looking for a pair of pants he had hoped had been washed when his wife threw in a load while he was at work. His disappointment was perceived by his wife as criticism, and she thought of all the times her housework wasn’t […]Read More How Did We Get Here in our Marriage? When Past Pain Comes Alive in the Present and How to Fix it
Around the 4th of July several years ago, my husband and I were out walking in a new development where homes were popping up right next to several charming storefronts. We saw fireworks in the distance and walked closer to take a look. Several families were gathered, providing a show with aerial fireworks. The setting […]Read More How Some Fireworks of Conflict in Marriage can be a Good Thing