My husband and I were sitting in bed at the end of the day a few months ago when my teenage son walked in and asked out of nowhere, “Mom, I have a question. What weapons do you have that you think you use against dad?” My clarifying, “You mean besides my mouth?” was overshadowed […]Read More Them’s Fighting Words: Marital Disarmament as a Noble New Year’s Resolution
I was walking through a store the other day when a simple painted sign stopped me in my tracks. It read, “Change is good….you go first.” I immediately picked it up to check the price, thinking, “I absolutely have to get this for my office.” It succinctly describes one of the biggest ongoing dilemmas I […]Read More The One Thing That Prevents Couples From Changing and the Question That Can Fix It
A few years ago, a video clip was released on YouTube that caught the attention of couples and therapists everywhere. Given the popularity of It’s Not About the Nail, I’m assuming most of my readers will know to what I am referring, but if you are confused, you can watch the video here. The clip […]Read More If the “Not About the Nail” Couple Came to Therapy
See if you can finish this sentence: I love you, but I’m not………… Right…I love you, but I’m not in love with you. It’s probably no surprise that I hear this sentence all the time in couples therapy. It’s not my favorite thing to hear, because I know it’s what people say when they aren’t […]Read More Rejuvenating the Magic of Those Three Little Words
Years ago, I hung my favorite quote by Mary Engelbreit in my kitchen where I could see it often. It reads, “If you pray for rain, be prepared to deal with some mud.” I remembered this quote when I was reading through a recent mixed methods research study on long-term relationships, conducted by the Economic […]Read More What About Those Annoying Habits? Loving the Muddy Side of Long-Term Relationships
How happy you are in your marriage is bound to affect you for better or worse. Marital quality is highly correlated with various facets of mental and physical health. High marital quality can benefit individual health while conversely, poor marital quality can actually generate health risk. Keeping this in mind, knowing how to preserve and […]Read More Can This 7 minute Intervention Really Save your Marriage?
If anyone asks my husband what I do for a living, he will say, “She makes people cry.” While that’s an over-simplified misconception which he declares for shock value, there is a minuscule grain of truth in his response. That’s because I am generally trying to help couples have new emotional experiences with each other […]Read More Safety First in Marriage: Why it’s Necessary for Building Trust and Intimacy