Many years ago, when I was in major survival mode in the thick of raising my children, one of my friends with an interest in family life education found out that I had a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy and asked if I had read the “Love Languages,” book by Gary Chapman which […]Read More Translating the Language of Love: A Caveat
Here’s a scenario I have seen play out in therapy with several iterations: I was carefully listening to a client in a marital session when her partner suddenly picked up his phone. My eyes widened at him as if to communicate, “Great—that just set you back at least an entire therapy session—that’s going to cost […]Read More Mistress, Thy Name is Smartphone
Marital drift is a common concept among marriage therapists. When couples aren’t proactive about securing their marriages, the stressors of life fragment the relationship and distance creeps in. Unfortunately, the distance places the marriage at risk for intrusive elements like extramarital affairs, and many couples are caught off guard because they have been too busy to […]Read More Giving a Gift to Shift Marital Drift
“I don’t want to be needy,” I heard for the umpteenth time in a couples therapy session. The reality is that sometimes we just need our partners to hold us up…and that’s actually a good thing. At the risk of expressing an unpopular viewpoint, I think our societal views of independence often negatively impact our […]Read More The Truth About “Neediness” in Close Relationships
“See?” exclaimed a husband in therapy, “It will never be enough for you. No matter what I do, you will always want something different or more, so I might as well just give up trying.” There is a process that I regularly witness between couples in therapy that genuinely saddens me. What happens is that […]Read More The Art of Noticing: Putting the “App” in Appreciation
I sent my husband a text the other day by speaking into the phone as usual, and right before I sent it, I glanced at it to make sure it was comprehensible. What I saw actually took me by surprise. I was sending him a message saying, “I got you the best presents for Christmas,” […]Read More Presents or Presence this Holiday Season?
From time to time, I deliver presentations in the community related to marriage. I have noticed that a common question comes up repeatedly from the married males in my audiences. I am asked this question often enough that I am choosing to address it in a blog post. Before I address the specific question, I […]Read More The Number One Question Men Ask me About their Marriages