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I often have couples ask me why it seems so difficult to maintain connection even after they have had deeply bonding moments together, and I usually answer, “Life.” Daily demands come from many sources such as children, careers and community, and compete with a marital relationship for attention. Unfortunately, the marriage is often the first thing to be sacrificed. Couples who succeed at not only maintaining but deepening connection don’t get there by accident. They are the ones who are intentional in their habits to work on the marriage.
There is an undocumented rumor that marriage therapists “have the worst marriages,” because their expectations are so high that they are never happy. This might be perpetuated from the fact that many people become marriage therapists AFTER their bad marriages or divorces as a way to understand them better and prevent future disasters. I’m…
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